I have been a baseball fan most of my life, beginning when I
was in elementary school and my Daddy would take us kids to watch beer leaguebaseball. Since we kids were too young to drink beer, we found excitement in
the game itself. Later, we followed LSU baseball, even before the team built a
new field. In grad school in Southern Illinois, I worked my spring schedule
around afternoon televised Cubs games before Wrigley installed lights, as well
as catching a few of the college baseball games. Without the excitement of
baseball, I may never have made it through my doctoral program.
Therefore, I cannot understand those misguided souls who
feel that baseball is boring, that nothing ever happens. For their edification,
I have compiled a list of nine reasons—since a game has nine innings--that
baseball is an exciting sport.
1) Pitching involves a lot of suspense.
If a pitcher throws the very minimum amount of pitches,
meaning each batter gets out in one pitch, then fans get to predict 54 times in
a game whether the pitcher will throw a curve ball, a slider, or an elevator
pitch. Realistically, that scenario doesn’t happen. When batters face multiple
pitches, fans get to predict before the call whether the umpire will call a
ball, call a strike, or call out for pizza. Fans get to wonder if the pitch
will hit the batter, and even if it will be a wild pitch or passed ball. (A wild
pitch is one made with a ball that parties too much; a passed ball is one
overlooked for promotion.) What does the pitcher do if he has to pee? (Does his
cup run over?)
2) Base running is exciting.
When a runner is on base, the pitcher may throw to that base
to discourage him from trying to steal the next base, so fans get to predict if
the pitcher is going to throw to the batter, throw to the baseman, or throw the
book at the base stealer. Fans can also predict if the runner will hold or
attempt to steal. If the runner holds, then he could be bluffing--oh, never mind,
that’s poker, not baseball! If the runner attempts to steal, will he slide? If
so, will he come in hands first, cleats first, or bottoms up? (Although usually
drinking is not allowed on the field.)
3) The commentators add color.
If you are watching the game on television or listening on
radio, you get more exciting commentary than if you are at the ballpark. Fans
will find excitement wondering what kind of interesting or inane things might
the commentators say? Did they attend their wives at the birth of their
children? “He’s out!” (I actually heard this exciting discussion during a real
game!) How frequently will they visit the theatre of the obvious? (Yes, the
batsman is writhing on the ground because that pitch really did hurt.)
4) The mascots
provide excitement.
Will the pitcher bean the mascot? Can you tempt the mascot
to speak? Is the mascot wearing clothes underneath the costume? Will the team
manager substitute the mascot into the game at some point?
5) The promotional games provide excitement.
How willing are people to make fools of themselves in order
to win a prize? Will the games involve water balloons and wet clothes? Will
someone shoot t-shirts from a cannon?
6) Food at the ballpark is exciting?
Fans can find excitement deciding what to eat at the
ballpark—a hot dog, a hot dog, or a hot dog--and then standing in line for the
various varieties of hot dog, listening to the announcer. If you are watching
or listening to the game at home, substitute your refrigerator for the ballpark
vendors in this exciting activity.
7) The 7th Inning Stretch is fun.
Standing up and singing a song in the middle of the seventh
inning of baseball is exciting! Fans might wonder how many other fans will sing
along. If the team has chosen “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” will the fans
substitute the name of the home team, for example “The Cubbies,” instead of
singing “Root, root, root for the home team”? Fans can also find excitement if
the team has chosen a song along the lines of “Sweet Caroline” or some other
non-traditional 7th Inning Stretch song, such as “The Chicken Dance.”
Ah, it’s the Seventh Inning Stretch! After seven innings of
exciting baseball, I think I need a nap! (Wake me when the game is over.)
NOTE: I received no compensation from any organization
involved with baseball at any level to write this piece (although I am open to
offers!).
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